Healing crises are those times when you have to drop any pretence of control and surrender to the turmoil that is. It is a messy, uncomfortable but necessary time, and there are many things you can do to honour the crisis whilst moving through it as quickly and gracefully as possible.
Right now on planet Earth, we are all on a healing journey because we all have distortions in our energy fields, brought about by false programming, negative experiences, trans-generational trauma and environment toxins.
For some of you, this healing is relatively gentle and gradual – you may not even call it healing. It is something you can ‘slot in’ while you continue your everyday life, and as this occurs, you make small adjustments to your energy field which add up to a “healthy you” over time.
For many others, the healing journey is intense, chaotic and disruptive. Like the spin cycle in a washing machine, you will be agitated and tossed around. You may be forced to let go of critical aspects of your identity, such as work, friends, family, homes and health. For a few, you will appear to lose the things your never thought you could, such as your cognitive function, your memory, aspects of your personality, and even your perceived dignity.
Whatever is seemingly lost was never ‘yours” anyway – Earth-based reality is ephemeral and ever-changing, much like a dream. The deepest part of you knows that these losses only occur to make way for your next stage of evolution. Nonetheless, a host of unpleasant emotions (the usual cohort of grief, guilt, shame, fear, anger and dismay) may accompany these apparent losses.
I have been through this stage of healing turmoil myself - in fact, I have been through it many times, as the stage is cyclic in nature and will come again and again into your life until all is processed and resolved. Each time I faced it, I learnt a little bit more about how to handle it using the power of acceptance and higher perspective.
I have since distilled some of the things I learnt into are some tangible tips and tools which you can use to guide your own healing work, so you come through it with grace and as little suffering as possible.
1. Accept your healing work as your most important work.
Intense healing may require a total focus on YOU. Do not entertain thoughts that make you feel guilty or burdensome, as if you have failed or you “should” be doing better. Your life might look like an irredeemable mess for a while, but know that once you have healed yourself, you become a priceless gift to the rest of humanity. Your family and friends may not understand at the time, but your healing assists them as well, often in unseen ways.
2. Create a personal safe space.
When I went through ‘my stuff’, I was fortunate to live with my loving husband in a peaceful home. But even then I needed sanctuary and time out, which came in the form of frequent hospital stays. I also needed a ‘safe space’ in my head – an imagined realm where I could call on healing angels and helpers to soothe me in the worst of times.
Wherever you live, I recommend leaving stressful environments. If you live in a house where you feel abused or manipulated by others, it is especially important to find an alternative space. Your home needs to be your sanctuary, and the healing work is doubly difficult when you are being triggered by others.
If leaving is truly not possible, then work with what you have and carve out your own personal, safe space somewhere. Your bedroom is perhaps such a sanctuary, or maybe it is a place in nature nearby. You can also make a safe house in your imagination, as I did. Spend time in meditation, visualising who you want it to look and how you will feel protected there. Only invite people or beings to your safe house who have your highest interests at heart.
3. Find people who truly validate your feelings and believe in you
Humans are relational beings and we learn through empathic resonance with others. So if the people around you don’t believe in you or dismiss your feelings, then this will erode your self-confidence as quickly as you build it up. You may have to reach for professionals for this help – which isn’t a bad thing as they often more capable of offering unconditional love and understanding. If you can’t pay anyone, then perhaps try to find a volunteer peer support group in your neighbourhood or online. Even a good quality online forum or facebook group can help.
Remember that this is not about seeking approval from people – what you are doing is seeking people who mirror the goodness that is already inside you, back to you, as a form of confirmation that then serves to amplify that goodness.
One easily accessible and very effective way of getting this validation is by reading self-help/psychology books or watching videos/online teachers who support your growth. You will feel less alone when your problems are clearly described by others in books, and solutions and ideas offered.
4. Something to care for/look after
This could be anything from a pot-plant to a child! As long as the care level is manageable for you, then it will be therapeutic. We all have a “need to be needed” and this need can cause us to stretch our capacities just a little more, even when we feel down or miserable. Pets are very helpful here. I raised three chickens from babies when I was going through the worst of my stuff and they were a constant comfort and lifted my spirits. Or you could try volunteering to look after people who are homeless or elderly. When we do this kind of service, we learn humility and gratitude even in the face of our own grief.
5. Taking care of your body and your environment
I know it can be hard when you feel depressed or self-destructive, but it makes a tremendous difference if you can take care of your bodily needs and your home. Make sure you shower, eat well (enough), have a haircut, wear clean clothes, and live in a tidy, peaceful environment… these little basic things will lift your spirits a bit and keep you from sinking into despair. When I was really unwell, I didn’t even want to get out of bed but I would make a bargain with myself – “just 30 minutes to wash the dishes and then you can go back to bed”. Often those 30 minutes would transform into a whole day of activity. Sure, I wouldn’t feel wonderful, but I would feel a little bit better, and I learnt to be grateful for that.
6. Engage in artistic/creative outlets
This doesn’t mean watching Netflix. It means making something. You can distract your chatter-box mind with a movie but it is the act of creativity which is healing and helpful. So get sewing, wood-working, cooking, painting, writing, photographing, or renovating. The satisfaction will again lift your spirits a little and possibly a lot. If you don’t want to do it for yourself, think of something you can make someone else as a gift.
Or if you are in a foul mood, channel that mood into your artwork and make something messy, angry, dark! You may be surprised at how the feeling has entirely shifted once you have transposed it onto the canvas, clay or other medium.
I will add music to the mix here – you can make music if you sing or play an instrument, or else put on some music that will either elevate your mood or resonate with it. Sometimes putting on sad music when you are sad is the best thing, as the music will help you to feel your feelings and allow the tears to flow. You can also add movement to the music in the form of creative, intuitive dance.
7. Movement and breathwork
Trauma and emotions are stored in the very cells of our body and we release much of it through movement. You don’t even have to use the word “exercise” if that feels overwhelming… there’s no need for marathon or gyms unless that’s your thing. Just some simple yoga, stretches, dancing or a walk will help.
Breathwork is equally effective. You can be lying on your bed in a foetal position and still do breathwork! Practice deepening your breath and use counting to control it and create a pattern. This in turn creates a sense of control and patterning in your energy field. Imagine light or colours with each breathe. As you breathe, consciously move out any of the old, negative energy.
8. Pamper yourself and be kind to yourself.
The ideas of “pampering” and “self-kindness” can evoke feelings of guilt, as many of us are programmed to feel it is selfish or indulgent to take time out or treat ourselves. Indeed, for some people, a “treat” can be addictive. But you do know the difference in your heart. A helpful treat leaves you feeling good and uplifted. A not-so-helpful treat is one that feels compulsive and fills a craving, only to leave you feeling empty afterwards.
Aside from the not-so-helpful treats, I encourage you to treat yourself every day. You are doing some major healing work, so every opportunity you get to be nice to yourself, do it! Making yourself a cup of tea, buying that little thing that makes you happy, resting when you need to, calling a friend, seeing a therapist… basically anything that makes YOU feel good is worth doing.
These practices of kindness are the outward demonstration of love and compassion for yourself. Sometimes we want other people to do these things for us (which is lovely) but if we can’t do them for ourselves, then we will never be emotionally and spiritually mature, and therefore we will not fully heal.
A final note
Ultimately, you have to put yourself first and know that your healing work is the most important thing you’ll ever do! When you heal yourself, you also heal your family and ancestral lines, and even though they may not understand or thank you, know that it is the highest service you are offering humanity and the planet. Walk in confidence and faith in yourself. You are a beautiful and divine being who is here to integrate the darkness and emerge as an angel. No less. So it is.